A Good Man

Recently I came across a question that had me thinking about myself. The question is, "Which is worse, Living as a Monster, or dying a Good Man?" and believe you me, I cant find the answer. When I was 8 years old, I read Ramayan and came across the Good and the Evil for the first time. There was a clear cut distinction between them, one was either Good or Bad. And then, a couple of years later I came across Mahabharatha, and the fact that everyone has elements of both in them, the Good and the Evil. The final actions are defined by which element dominates. This was something very radical for me. I mean it made me realize that even the people who are my idols, whom I trust blindly, have somewhere inside them a little bit of Bad. This made me question their credibilities, their capabilities. This made me doubt the blind trust. And from then on, doubt has been my companion. Wherever I go, whoever I meet, I doubt, I judge, I analyse, I evaluate. But is that necessary? I think in ideal world, it isn't. But now, we are nurtured in a society which promotes this doubt. But somewhere inside, we yearn for that undoubting, uncorrupted self that we were some decades ago, to trust again, blindly; to see everyone as same; to sleep deeply again, without any fear. So No, I dont know the answer to that question but I do know that me being good or bad is decided by me only and no one else and if I want, I will never have to live as a Monster, but I can die a Good Man!