Relations & Me

Recently, I realized the importance of relationships. There are times when one thinks that some relations are not important or someone has not fulfilled what is expected of that relationship. But I feel it is just a phase, or a moment of anger. No Relationship is meaningless or completely selfish. Every relation holds some value that it adds to our lives and we wouldn't be what we are if that relation had not been there. I have had such experience where in that spur of anger I have said such horrible things about someone really close to me and the worst part is i cant take them back. And believe me i regret it from all my heart, not just because I love them alot but because it made me not love myself. Such juvenile behaviour made me doubt my capabilities to maintain a good relationship with other people in my life. So, I wanna use this portal again to say Sorry to whomsoever I have hurt with my cruel words. I can be a piece of shit, load of crap at times.

Forgive me Please

Aks

Respect and Me

This might be the hardest post for me to write. Recently someone asked me, " What is more important, Respect or Love?". It had me thinking. Dictionary defines respect as "To consider worthy of esteem, to regard with honor." It says Love is "a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness." But do these actually follow the same rules? Or is the reality something very different? First I'll come to love. For me, it has always been a confusing topic. I could never understand the power of love truly. But whatever love i have received from whomsoever, i have realized that it is more of an acceptance and approval that gives it importance, to be seen as someone worth the time is the Love as I have seen it in the real world. Which brings us to the Respect. Isn't it something very similar? Acceptance & approval are the core aspects of Respect. Then what is it that makes Love & Respect so much different? It is the lack of either that instills the importance. Lack of love can turn a person into a pessimistic hater but the lack of respect, can lead a man to take his own life. If u loose love, you can probably work to get it back, but if you loose respect, it aint coming back. Similarly, if you are not repected at a place, you can probably start afresh in a new phase of life and work on it but if you loose love, the feeling chases you everywhere, day n night. So, I guess it is pretty tough to decide which one is more important, the essential thing is to try not losing your heart even if you loose one of the either.

P.S : I have a question for the readers for which i m expecting an honest and detailed answer, preferably in person......."Do you or do you not love n respect me and why??"......there is no specific reason for this question so dont try finding one.

Love and Respect to you

AKS

Perfection & Me

"Perfection is not my habit, it is my virtue" , "Practice is not for those who have attained Perfection by definition" and many more. These were the words that used to drive me not so long ago. Since I was a small kid with bigger dreams, I have always tried to change the definition of perfection according to my own capabilities. There used to be a spark somewhere inside which helped me decide my choices through life's crossroads. Then came a time when all this disappeared, the virtue, the words, the dreams, the capabilities and, the spark. The world seemed to collapse on me, in me and around me. It was as if all the hopes were hiding away deliberately and mocking me. Then one day, it all changed again. I met a person who made me realize that nothing is impossible and the hopes and the dreams are not yet gone, they are just ignored. That person helped me see my potential again and brought me back. You must have started guessing by now about who that person is, well it is none other than ME, and believe you me I made me believe in me, again. People can only help you from the side but you have to have faith in yourself to keep going on in life. It's only you who can believe what you can do and do what you believe. Nothing and no one else is more capable of doing this. All the sayings in the world and all the "quotable" quotes point you towards YOU because thats who defines Perfect.

So if you want perfection, keep believing in yourself and Just Do It!!

A Good Man

Recently I came across a question that had me thinking about myself. The question is, "Which is worse, Living as a Monster, or dying a Good Man?" and believe you me, I cant find the answer. When I was 8 years old, I read Ramayan and came across the Good and the Evil for the first time. There was a clear cut distinction between them, one was either Good or Bad. And then, a couple of years later I came across Mahabharatha, and the fact that everyone has elements of both in them, the Good and the Evil. The final actions are defined by which element dominates. This was something very radical for me. I mean it made me realize that even the people who are my idols, whom I trust blindly, have somewhere inside them a little bit of Bad. This made me question their credibilities, their capabilities. This made me doubt the blind trust. And from then on, doubt has been my companion. Wherever I go, whoever I meet, I doubt, I judge, I analyse, I evaluate. But is that necessary? I think in ideal world, it isn't. But now, we are nurtured in a society which promotes this doubt. But somewhere inside, we yearn for that undoubting, uncorrupted self that we were some decades ago, to trust again, blindly; to see everyone as same; to sleep deeply again, without any fear. So No, I dont know the answer to that question but I do know that me being good or bad is decided by me only and no one else and if I want, I will never have to live as a Monster, but I can die a Good Man!

LOFUSION!!!

There are many situations we face in life which we may find difficult to comprehend, hard to understand, in short confusing. There is always something that puzzles us, it can be a nuclear reactor or an ipod, it can be the Universe or a speck of grain, it can be a dinosaur or a termite crawling up a wall, and then, it can be Love or LOVE. I have always wondered what it feels like to be "In" Love. I mean loads and loads of movies have shown since ages, a guy risking his everything to be with a gal, or a guy, not caring what the world thinks, nothing else matters, family, friends, money, Nothing and getting same in return from their partner. But does that really happen, i mean in life? Do lovers really care that much or are they just trying to meet up to the standards set by the movies? People have tried explaining to me the effects of oh-so serene Love in so many ways, "oh you'll think about her all the time." Well I do think about my high school Maths Teacher alot in night. Or " oh you wont be able to eat, or sleep, or shit!" Well I do that before every exams. Or, the most common one and please believe when i say it,the most confusing one,"You'll just Know It!" Not that I have not tried to feel it. Believe you me, i have, desperately. But as they say, "Love is not planned or instilled, it just happens." So I guess I may have to wait longer until may be someday I'll find my Love. Ending with the words of Anand Bakshi, "Pyaar Kiya Nahin Jaata Ho Jaata Hai, Dil Diya Nahin Jaata Kho Jaata Hai!!!"
Well, Definitely Maybe

AKS

Just Love

02/01/10

i used to think i could live without you

u r not the one i need

but i guess i was wrong

i have loved u all along

i always thought i knew what i wanted

and pushed u out from my dreams

but i guess i was wrong

i have loved u all along

u came in my life as the ray of hope

i was fading out ,unable to cope

u made me trust again,u helped me grow

u were always there and never said no

u made me breathe the life again

u took away all my pain

u held me together,u made me belong

i have loved u all along

but now i felt u drifting away

no matter how much i prayed

despite the mistakes i made

i know u wud have stayed

if only i would've just asked

and pulled off my filthy mask

but i let u slip through like sand

as i tried 2 close my hands

and now i know i have no more chance

for one last goodbye,one last dance

i have made u suffer too long

but i have loved u all along

ohh baby dont hate me

AKS

It's Here!!!!

Hola nuevo año!!!

Finally the new year has dawned on us!We have transcended into the new decade.I wish everyone Peace and Warmth this year and May We strive to work towards togetherness and BROhood!!

So Amigos,stay together and stay Happy

Dream On and Say Loudly "Aaall Izzz Welll"

Aks